Quirks
by AzmariaHarmony
Summary: 'Ralph and Roger are aware of the quirks each other have and have adapted their lifestyle to them.'  A drabble on Ralph and Roger's relationship. Ralph/Roger; slight Jack/Simon


_Ahuurr…. Lurv this pairing. Now edited by clear.s/ Puppetiere/ JEEEWWWWW! :D Hoo-ray!_

Ralph and Roger are aware of the quirks each other have and have adapted their lifestyle to them.

Roger can't cook. He had lived off of ramen and frozen waffles for two years until Ralph came to live with him. Because of this, the blonde had taken to looking online for new things to cook.

Last week they had some Brazilian styled chicken that Roger had all but stuffed down his throat. He of course then gave only a nod to thank him, but Ralph saw the bright happy look in his eyes. The small gleam had been enough to thoroughly please him.

He had taken it upon himself to teach (or try to teach) Roger how to cook. They had to buy new pots. And clothes.

Ralph really likes his car, in an almost (or completely) obsessive way. Once, Jack had dared to touch the white 1964 Mustang and had nursed a shiner for weeks after. It was a gorgeous car, with scarlet leather seats, and Ralph took thorough care of her in an OCD-like fashion.

Every weekend, Ralph and Roger (the latter being forced to) would don tank tops and shorts and arm themselves with sponges, buckets and top-of-the-line cleaning supplies to keep the precious "gift from above" in pristine condition.

Roger would complain and grumble about wasting his weekend as usual, and in retaliation, Ralph would spray him with the hose. Naturally, this would cause Roger to chase him down with the deadly soap sponge and tackle him to the wet ground. Roger would then take the hose and perch himself triumphantly on the blonde's chest, a small smirk on his face. Ralph would laugh and call him 'adorable', making Roger blush. They'd both soaked by then and would thus head inside to drink tea and snuggle in a blanket by the fireplace.

But Roger's favorite memory was the first real date Ralph had taken him on. It had been the first time Ralph had driven anyone else in his 'baby', and was even more unbearably OCD about it then than he is now.

Ralph had treated him to fancy Italian cuisine and paid for the entire thing (like a true gentleman). Though it had started out as perfect, they had gotten lost on the way home because the restaurant had been in the next town over from where their school was. Roger had scolded him a bit for forgetting to have a map in his car but not too much, since he was somewhat sleepy and content from the meal.

They had ended up in a grassy hill overlooking the city. Ralph then parked the car and pulled Roger into his lap and the two just sat there in silence, gazing at the stars and watching busy people go about their busy lives. Roger must've fallen asleep, because the next thing he knew, the blonde was gently setting him down on his bed and kissing his forehead sweetly.

Roger swears it had to have been the best date ever conceived.

Roger, contrary to belief, gives the best relationship advice. However, the only people who were aware of this are Ralph, Jack, Simon, and Maurice.

Roger had briefly dated Maurice in their sophomore year of high school, before he started dating Ralph later that year. It did not end well, especially for Maurice's car, as Roger did not take kindly to being cheated on. Regardless, Maurice had found out about his 'gift' sometime in their three-month relationship.

Simon had stumbled upon it accidentally when he had turned up cranky on Roger's doorstep during an 'off' period of his 'on again, off again' relationship with Jack. Roger had promptly filled him with ramen and gave him love advice that would make Ask Abby columnists green with envy. To this day, Simon still regularly visits, demanding free food and more advice. Roger rolls his eyes every time, but complies all the same.

Jack had known Roger from when they were five, and was the first to learn of Roger's 'gift'. He only asks for it when he really needs it, but rejects it most of the time (freaking ginger pride, Roger muses). His typical method of inquiry consists of falling asleep on Roger's front doorstep, cradling some sort of half-empty bottle of booze and mumbling incoherently about stupid boyfriends. (Roger and Simon were also the only people on the face of the planet that were fluent in Jackesian.) Roger would then nurse the poor redhead back to physical and mental health and feed him a bit before kicking him out. (The reason for such brutality? Jack Merridew would never fail to prove Roger wrong that he could easily eat all of the food in his pantry, as he had proved multiple times before.)

Ralph found out about it when Jack was teasing Roger about it during class. It had been right after Roger had broken up with Maurice, so Jack had, obviously, been slapped and verbally abused by the touchy brunette. After waiting a couple of weeks to let the drama with Maurice die down, the blonde asked Roger the best way to ask someone that had been a good friend of his for a while out on a date (unnamed, of course). Roger had naturally given great advice, but it wasn't until about a month into their relationship that Roger realized that Ralph had been taking about him. Ralph laughed about it for a week.

Ralph liked to shower Roger with gifts, especially expensive ones, as it was common knowledge that Ralph had wealthy parents who tended to spoil their only son with lots of cash. The rest of the money he used to afford such things had come from odd jobs that Ralph had worked and the law firms he had labored in during college. (He was now in Law School and Roger was getting his Master's in Music Performance at the same university.)

Ralph had gotten him a new fancy laptop for Christmas, since his old one was getting old from the constant use when judging at competitions for middle and high school orchestras and his classes. Roger had thanked him profusely, something he never did, and tackled him to the ground with kisses. Afterwards, Ralph made a mental note to do things like that more often.

But even when it wasn't a holiday or his birthday, Ralph came home with a large bouquet of antique roses (Roger's favorite) and a dazzling smile. Roger would have the smallest—and adorablest in Ralph's opinion—smile on his face as he put them in a pretty vase and set them on the table in the living room by the window that overlooked the front yard, displayed for all to see. Roger would step back, admiring their glow in the sunshine, and Ralph would take the opportunity to hug Roger around the waist, resting his chin on the brunette's shoulder. Roger would lean back into him silently, his face smooth, almost gentle and loving. It was Ralph's favorite expression, which was why he bought the roses often, no matter how expensive.

Roger hated children. He hated them with every fiber of his being. Their grubby hands and 'the-world-revolves-around-me' attitude made his skin crawl. He couldn't stand being near one of those little devil-spawns.

The only interaction he had with the under-eighteen monsters was when he judged at orchestra and band competitions. It was for mandatory service hours for his Master's degree, but he completed them reluctantly. Although he judged fairly and firmly, he did enjoy crushing their insignificant dreams when the orchestra played awfully. Or mediocre. There was a reason he was known as the mean, but kind of cute judge. He earned that reputation and basked in it.

So obviously, the first time Ralph suggested adopting Roger had choked, and Ralph had to almost do the Heimlich Maneuver on him. Ralph didn't bring it up again for several months and made sure that Roger wasn't eating when he asked again. Roger grumbled about it, but finally caved in when Ralph had that eager look on his face. However, it was delicately balanced with the impending doom that if he said no, the blonde would crash and get that kicked puppy look on his face. And Roger honestly didn't want to deal with that.

Though Roger agreed, he was still rock solid on not adopting until after they were married, had a steady income, finished school, had seen the world, and seen a cow jump over the moon. Ralph didn't notice the last part, much to Roger's pleasure.

Needless to say, it would be a good while before they started their own family.

If it was up to Ralph, laundry would never get done and there would be dirty plates sitting in the sink, rotting into oblivion. That would simply not do in Roger's house. Roger was sort of a neat-freak and Ralph's procrastinating views on cleaning simply weren't allowed—he began to kill the blonde's habits slowly, but steadily. Roger had gained obedience by taking away dessert privileges if Ralph didn't put his dirty clothes in the hamper, put the dishes in the dishwasher, or put away clean clothes. Ralph had whined and pouted like the five-year-old man he was.

But Roger's plan had worked and Ralph had even started helping out with everyday chores. The reason for this was that whenever Roger had to reach up to grab something or put something away, his shirt came up _just a bit_ to show a sliver of his smooth skin. It made doing the chores _so_ worthwhile.

One of the things they both got into the habit of was not something everyone saw or knew about. It was something they did often and it soon became an important component of their lives. That something was taking pictures.

There was a large shoebox kept under the bed filled with photos of their best memories. Roger playing his violin, looking graceful and in a world of his own. Ralph coming home with his bright smile. Roger sleeping on the couch, Ralph feeding Roger a bit of his cooking, Roger laughing heartily, Ralph and Roger kissing under the mistletoe (courtesy of Simon), Ralph sitting on a bench overlooking a gorgeous lake with the soft sunlight turning his blonde hair the richest golden, Ralph and Roger cuddling by the fire, Ralph proposing…

All of those memories, and so many more, that _every_ weekend they would take out and smile and laugh, remembering each and every one. And they fall in love with each other all over again.

"Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose." - Kevin Arnolds


End file.
